i can say

sorry. I can say it over and over again. But that won't do anything. I know this.

Actions speak louder than words. Ideas become actions. And i have a few good ideas right now. I just wish time could fast forward three or four weeks. Then I'd be able to see how it'll all play out.

I said some stuff last time. I kinda ignored what i sayed. And when i say kinda, i mean completely. I regret that.

I'm not going to say the same stuff this time. Because i don't have to. My actions will show my feelings. I need to be the one who takes the initiative.

It's just hard, you know? I've lost all credibility. Because of that, my words mean nothing. I don't expect any faith in me.

So Bec Kim was telling me about her ex-boyfriend today. Their situation was pretty damn similiar to mine. Her boyfriend would say he would stop, but then he wouldn't. And then he would say he'd stop again. And then he wouldn't. It just became this giant on and off let down, and grew into a rift for their relationship.

So i realize. I don't want to be that guy! If i say i'm going to stop, I need to stop! and if i'm not going to, then i shouldn't say i will! That's unfair.

Right now i feel like it'd be even more unfair for me to make any promises, or hopeful statements. So i'm not going to. But what I will say is I know what I want. I want you.