when the going gets tough

well i'm sitting in my room while the rest of my family is downstairs. I feel so weird... today wasn't that good of one.

Band practice was better than the last one. This time we came with some songs prepared, but for some reason eric didn't feel up to learning Hey Joe (which was the song i was most excited for). Purple Stain didn't sound great, but it was alright. Santeria was a mess. I'm not sure what it was... it wasn't in alex's vocal register, eric's bass sounded off, and my guitar was sloppy.

Writing wise it was pretty good. I showed the band this song i had written, and they liked it. I originally wrote the song as a love song, and i actually had words for it. I'm gonna let alex write new lyrics because he's the singer, but i feel kinda sad letting go of the words i had written haha. I just feel the melody and the rythym call for those words. I don't know. Maybe alex's words will find their way into my head.




So i wrote an entire extra part to this post, but when i finished writing it, i read it over, and realized that i didn't agree with anything i was saying? god damn i change my mind alot. So i'm just gonna say how I feel in as few words as possible.

I feel alone. But at the same time i feel so surrounded by loved ones, that i'm happy as can be. I feel like i don't know what i want. But at the same time, i know exactly what i want, and i'm doing a pretty damn good job at getting it! I feel lost, like i have no direction. And that makes me feel two ways. 1: oh my god no direction is scary as hell, and 2: whatever. takes life in as it goes. you're life is damn good! relaaaaaxxxxxx: ]

yeah, so basically i feel two emotions for alot of things. Its an inner struggle really! But hey, i know that everyone is fighting their own little fight. so hang in there, i promise you'll make it out the other end.